Letters To You
by NickyFox13
Summary: Harry writes a letter to J.K. Rowling on his second born son. -parody- drabble 2: In which Fred rants on his death
1. Harry

**A/N:** _I hope I won't get in trouble for this…not just with the rules, but with the fans as well. I thought it would be funny to have Harry write a letter to J.K. Rowling (who is not me, by the way), so we'll just have to see what happens. If enough people like this, maybe I'll continue with these. Also, these are OOC, just so you're warned._

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Dear Miss Rowling,

I am your creation, also known as Harry Potter. You have given me a pretty harsh life. You killed my parents at the hands of the darkest wizard of _all time_, you had me live with horrible beyond belief relatives, you even had me survive multiple life threatening events, most of which occurred during school!

That's only a _bit_ of the insanity that is my life. Yes, I know I have great friends, Ron and Hermione, who send you their regards, so thanks for them because we all know Hermione and Ron make life much better. My girlfriend, soon to be wife, Ginny, is also pretty great.

But when I learned that my second born son was going to be called 'Albus Severus', I felt like vomiting. Why would I bestow such a horrible name on my kid? I understand my flawless logic on how I came up with the name 'Albus', but _'Severus'_? I was bullied by him for seven years! I never liked him for as long as I knew him. I _did _respect him during the Final Battle for reasons you should remember, but not enough to name my kid after him!

Wishes for a better named son,

**_Harry James Potter_**

P.S. Ginny wants to know why it seemed she had no say in naming our kids, after all, the names are special for me. But who cares about _her?_ **I'm** the main character, after all!

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	2. Fred

Dear Jo (…I can call you 'Jo' right? Of course I can!);

Right now, I _could_ formally introduce myself now as Fredrick G. Weasley, but I won't. You already know who I am, having created me and all.

Just one question: Why in the world did you kill me? I understand that it's shocking—of course, the fans would miss me! Who wouldn't? I'm Fred freaking Weasley—but why _me?_ If you killed someone less awesome, the fans would hate you less.

I guess I do understand this is war after all, and lots of people die during war. But why did you make my friends and family suffer? I bet you secretly get off on this type of stuff, killing beloved characters and ripping at the heartstrings of fans.

Say I did accept dying at 20 during a war I didn't really want to fight in (and I don't, mind you, being dead isn't it all cracks up to be) why couldn't I get a cooler death? I mean death by off-screen explosion? That's slightly awesome, but not fitting to my standards. Sorry Jo, you should have been more creative.

From,

Fred who is highly disappointed at you (And you consider yourself lucky for getting this letter! Do you know how difficult and freaking _expensive_ it is to send letters from beyond the dead?)

P.S Please tell George I miss him and that I love him and that he shouldn't be so sad so often. Poor guy is suffering too much without me to help him cause havoc.

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**A/N: I cracked and continued this. I had fun and I hope you like it. Also, if you have any ideas on what another character should write about, leave a suggestion. However leave bias (characters, shipping, and so on) out of it and only suggest something that bothered you in the books, not a fanfiction cliché. Writing about fanfiction clichés is a whole separate idea that will be reserved for a later date. **


	3. Outtake: Starring Ron

To Whom This may concern in the movie company (because frankly, I have no idea who you people are by name)

I'm quite aware that, in the books, I am a goofy sidekick to Harry and Hermione. I am insecure and have noticeable flaws, including a temper. In the books, I was developed me into a well meaning and sarcastic boy with a fierce loyalty to my friends and family. I may not be the Chosen One like Harry is or ridiculously intelligent like Hermione but I have my own quirks and flaws. There is more to me underneath the insecurity, you know!

But why is it that the movies (I'm looking at you, movies! You know who you are...) depict me as a goofy sidekick and nothing more? I am treated well sometimes, especially in the first two movies. I was a badass first and second year student, if I do say so myself. But some other scenes, I am treated like just an idiotic, stupid best friend. I want to get the credit I deserve in the later books.

A boy can dream, can't he?

Signed,

_Ron Weasley_

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**A/N: This rant isn't inspired by the books but the movies, since it pisses me off how far some of the movies have strayed from the books, which inspired this chapter. The fact that it's a movie!Potterverse rant and not a book!Potterverse rant is why I'm considering it an outtake. **

**Please don't be offended by any of the ideas expressed in any of these chapters, since they are my opinions and you really don't have to care about my opinions if you don't want. I happen to like Ron, so do not flame me if you happen to dislike him. **


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